[Image via Kiss-us.de]
In life you go from one relationship to another and one broken heart to another, and it is the most exhausting cycle. You become jaded each and every time and more aware that relationships aren’t always some fairytale romance or in some cases, the ones we made up in our heads. We DO get stronger each and every time. However, I think we often forget our strength when we go through a break-up once again. We don’t realize the bigger bridges we burned and how we recovered from them only to recover once again. We may get irrational, vindictive, bitter, and etc. All of which doesn’t really help us in the end. It only keeps the wound from healing and memory of our ex’s alive and prolongs our healing process. I have been through a few break-ups myself and after some thinking, I thought I’d compile a quick 5-step process to getting over that asshole who ruined your mascara. These are things that helped me be happy again and move forward with my life.
- DELETE DELETE DELETE- You know what they say…”Out of sight, out of mind.” It couldn’t be anymore true. Since technology/social media is the way we keep in touch with our loved ones now its best to keep it at just “loved ones” and not the guy you just broke up with. Delete him from all of your social media accounts and if you (or your ex) can’t stop lurking even after you delete him, block him too. Lurking only gives you more pain than pleasure because you are not going to see him crying on his instagram girlfriend, you are just going to hurt yourself when you see him frolicking around like be is not even bothered. Blocking him makes sure that ex of yours knows its real. I had a situation with a guy once that felt that my life was a revolving door for him and to be honest, because I still had feelings, it kinda was. Anytime he wanted to find me, he could via social media. Once I knew better, I did better. I shut the door on him for good by blocking his ass on all social media accounts and you know what? He’s apparently so desperate to see how I am doing, I caught him lurking my damn LinkedIn. #byefelipeforever.
- SELF CARE- Self care is the best care. Take care of yourself. Be KIND to yourself. Don’t go over every single scene of your past relationship wondering, shoulda, coulda, woulda. If things did not work out, it might just be that this person just wasn’t good for you. However, every break-up brings us closer the person who just might be. In the meantime, go out with your girlfriends, treat yourself, and live your life. Do whatever you need to do that helps distract you but also helps you become a better and happier person. Don’t stay home and sulk, give yourself time to grieve and move on. Your life and your time here is valuable. Spend it with people who make you happy and make you realize that you are still, very much loved.
- EMPOWER & EVOLVE- It seems after a breakup, we all feel powerless, worthless, and insecure and it really takes a toll on our self-esteem. This is perfectly normal but really difficult to deal with when you are in the mix of it all. You have to really work on remembering how valuable you are and not let this breakup validate your worth. The way you remember is by really working on building yourself up again. This means anything from, going to the gym, pampering yourself, dressing up, being ambitious, engulfing yourself with unfinished projects. Whatever keeps you busy and keeps you evolving. Because when we take action we see results. It’s amazing how something a little as dressing up or going to the gym, really makes us feel good but it also helps us realize we look damn good too. Get those endorphins kicking and don’t self-sabotage by going into a state of depression where you just let yourself go. Get up, get moving, get shaking, and be a better version of yourself than you were last time. There is always room for improving ourselves and our lives.
- OUT WITH THE OLD- If you have any gifts, photos, or any other things that remind you of your ex, throw it out or put it in a box and give it a nice football kick to your basement. Having things around that remind you of him only postpones your healing process. A break-up is a hard reset, it’s a transitional period, it’s your memo that you now have to start fresh again. So get rid of all that old junk and embrace all the new gifts that await you.
- RELEASE & REJUVENATE: Need to vent about it? Have feelings you need to express but don’t know how or what to do with them? Pick up a pen and paper and write. Find yourself an outlet where you can release all of your frustration, anger, and sadness. Healthy mind, healthy body. You cannot keep this stuff to yourself or you will just get sick. So do things that help you clear your head, be it writing, running, singing, dancing, and etc. Whatever brings you peace of mind. Do that. The more you do, the better you feel about the words left unsaid and the apology you never got.
Much love to all of you going through a tough break-up right now. I hope this 5-step process works for you the way it worked for me. After speaking with my girlfriends they seem to agree as well that all of this steps are crucial to our well being after a harsh breakup. Overall, we must remember to just learn to ACCEPT the apology we never got or the closure we never received and just move forward with our lives knowing that what’s meant for us will always find its way. <3